How I Found the Goddess, Part I

The Goddess is not a person.  Neither is God, by the way. 

I figured this out when I was in elementary school.  I was fascinated with lots of subjects and religion was one of them.  On the occasions I went to church, I felt in my heart that there must be something to all that ritual (yes, it was a Catholic Church) or why would people bother to participate at all. 

One of my dad’s cousins was a really progressive Priest who was –and still is—super handsome so it wasn't too tough sitting through Mass with him running the show.  Also, it was the late 60’s and Vatican II had just happened and there were hootenanny masses with folk music and guitars and homilies against the Vietnam War.  I loved that stuff.  But, even despite all that, I trusted my reasoning skills and it seemed that most of what was taught at Church made no sense at all. 

Yes, I loved Jesus.  In fact, he reminded me of me in certain ways.  He was a smidge defiant, he was really inquisitive, he stuck up for the underdog, and he had a temper.  I think we all see Jesus the way we want to see him.  But all the rules and regulations—and the dogma—I just couldn't see why not eating meat on Friday had anything to do with anything or how Original Sin was a constructive point of view.  But at the time the biggest obstacle holding me back from embracing the faith of my ancestors was the idea that God was Jesus’ father and that Jesus was his only begotten son.  If Jesus was human and was God’s only son, then God had to have been human.  When I looked up begotten, it was defined as “generated by procreation,” and even as a fifth grader that meant sex to me.

Except there was no sex—God used Angels and some kind of magic to impregnate the Virgin Mary so Jesus could be born here with Joseph, a carpenter, as his stand-in dad.  Then, after growing up, questioning his elders and kicking tax collectors out of the Temple, Jesus heals the sick and does his level best to preach a new philosophy which he taught in the form of obtuse riddles. He makes enemies with the Jewish leaders and the Roman Empire, is tortured and then dies a horribly painful death on the cross.   God, his father, can’t or won’t intervene because it had to be that way to save humans from their sins.  And somehow, as a result of what went down with Jesus we are all saved and we are supposed to be kind and loving to one another and do what the Church tells us to do.   

I was very confused—I knew from elementary school science that this story wasn't literally true—God could not be a person.  Humans aren't omnipresent, omnipowerful and omniscient.  Humans can’t create planets, stars, and black holes.  Not even Superman could do that.   But I also knew there was some important information that “The Greatest Story Ever Told” was trying to convey that like Jesus’ parables, wasn't obvious on the surface.    When we started studying Greek mythology in school, I figured it out.  Christianity was a myth and I had to decode it to find its deeper meaning.  This point of view was and still is blasphemous to many people across the globe.  For me, figuring this out has been the most liberating achievement of my life.  Unraveling the myth of Jesus led me to deep spiritual insights and to the Goddess herself—but it took a really long time.

I was 33 years old when I found the Goddess hiding in plain sight.

Stay tuned for Part II…

Goddess Rising: Why I Choose to Write About the Goddess

I have not written anything of value for an entire year.  I’ve composed a few decent Facebook posts, but not much else.  I didn’t even add a note to my holiday cards.  Scratch that.  I never add a note to my holiday cards.  I’m too stressed to write notes at the holidays.

The truth is that since 1998 I have written and co-written two books and a thesis and while not as prolific as many other writers, I found that I was tapped out.  So much has been written about spirituality that I started to feel that everything that needed to be said had already said and I didn’t have anything more to contribute. 

Writing can be such a solitary process.  Solitary processes can lead to getting caught up in the loop of one’s own thoughts.  Lately, the thought of codifying these thoughts into writing seemed stupid.  To be honest, as I reread this, the word codifying is stupid too.  So expert like…so wannabe guru…so know it allish.  That is what I hate about spiritual books. 

I haven’t been feeling sorry for myself…although I’m quite capable of that…it’s just that since I started working with clients directly using a combination of Spiritual Response Therapy and my own life coaching style, spirituality has started to really come alive for me.   Working with others to remove blocks to manifesting their spiritual and real life potential is challenging and just so damn fun.  Every client is different.  Each set of challenges is unique.  I feel like I go to Coney Island everyday to work. 

So why the sudden urge to write again, you ask?  Simple.  Today I felt inspired.  This morning, in rapid succession, I read several articles about women who were rising out of the misery of poverty, rape, disease, and bullying by speaking up and out and embracing the authentic truth of their lives.  I was filled with hope.

It made me remember how much my life has shifted since meeting the Goddess…the feminine face of God.  It was in the mid 90’s in Litchfield, Connecticut at a retreat at Wisdom House.  She called me daughter and said she was proud of me.  The voice was my voice inside my head but I knew it was her.  Who else could it be?  I was part of her and she was part of me.  A deep intuitive knowing revealed itself along with a profound longing for a stronger connection with Divinity, for an even more primal recognition of my unbreakable bond with Source.

After that initial meeting, I couldn’t stop running into her.  She was everywhere.  The Goddess soon whispered to me that Sophia would be a good name for my daughter.  It was the she who shifted me away from the dry coaching format I had been using and toward the living, personalized approach I now use. 

A series of other goddesses helped me write and publish my books; encouraged my ordination as an interfaith minister; and pushed me to expand my horizons and embrace the intuitive gifts I always knew I had but was afraid to put to use.  Others continue to encourage me; push my buttons; and force my hand.  I am blessed that many men with goddess awareness also continue to help me, love me and inspire me.  The effect of the Goddess is my life is so profound that I need to honor the source of all that love…all that compassion…all that wisdom.  I want to say thank you.  I want to spread the love. 

So, I plan to write about her; once a month, but maybe more.  The Goddess is rising.  I feel it in my bones.  I want 2013 to be her year, my year, your year. 

She says that she will stay and inspire me on only one condition.  I must promise never to use the word “codify” again.  And I promise I won’t.

Amen.